Are you the kind of person who sets a goal and then does everything you can to achieve it?
Are you the kind of person who sets a goal and then does the absolute opposite to sabotage the goal?
I am 55 years old and my entire life have found to be the second type of person. To me, goals are amazing to set but then for whatever reason I do everything I can to not fulfill that goal.
For instance, I wanted to lose weight so that I could go on a trip to a dude ranch for my 50th birthday. In the two years between my 48th and 50th birthday I gained around 50-60 lbs.
That is just one of the MANY examples I can site.
So, here I am at that junction again. I finally, after a 3 month plateau, got out of the 330’s. I hit 327.2 then 326.8 lbs in the last few weeks. Tomorrow, March 16th, I will be 6 weeks away from my one year anniversary with Optavia. So I set a goal. (I set it last week so I had 7 weeks at that point). My goal is to get to 299.9 by April 28th.
Today, March 15th, I weighed 330.2 lbs. Now I’m not a math scholar but when you are at 326.8 one week and the goal is to lose 26.9 lbs, GAINING almost 4 lbs will not get you to your goal.
Why do I do this you might ask? Well, I don’t know. If I take time to really dig down I am sure I will figure it out but I just struggle to wrap my head around actually obtaining that goal.
One of the things I have always struggled with is not knowing what God will ask me to do. If I remain heavy then I won’t be physically able to do hard things. Go hard places. Allow people He brings into my life to get close. Maybe sabotaging the goals “proves” I am a failure. “Proves” I can’t do the hard stuff so why try? Also, if I “accomplish” my goals then I will have to set another one and then will have to fight to reach that goal and then it just continues. Doing the hard work is super scary to me. What if I do fail?
BUT what if I DON’T fail? What if I succeed in meeting that goal and the next and the next? Why am I “not allowed” to be successful? Who is stopping me from this? ME!!! There are so many of you out there that believe in me. That have been praying for me. That are inspired by me (boy do I fear letting you all down). But I am the one who is hindering my own success. I know I won’t be successful with out God’s help, strength and guidance. (People who don’t have a relationship with Christ have it so much harder.) But I also know that the things I say and the actions I take (or don’t take) are my choices. Why can so many others believe in me but I can’t?
See, I know the me I have been. I know my track record. I know my lack of follow through and commitment. But that is my past choices. It is not who I am!!! I am a Child of God. I am loved and created by Him to do amazing things. I was fearfully and wonderfully made.
Do I deserve his grace, love and caring? No, none of us do. But He has offered it by sending His son and I chose, years ago, to accept that free gift. Now I just have to meditate on it. So for this minute I will chose to be nice to myself. I will choose to set one goal for today. One goal that I can reach. I will make food choices that will be healthy for my body.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me despite me fighting you every step of the way. Thank you for your gift of salvation, for your word to be my guide. Thank you for reminding me that I am my own worst enemy. That you did not create me to be a failure. That you created me in your image.
Lord, I pray that I am able to reach this one goal for today. That my food choices will be to fuel my body and not to keep me in the same place I used to stay in. Help me to change my thought pattern and to remember I am not my weight or my negativity or even what others think. Help me to just meditate on your word.
Be with others who are struggling in their own way. Who have decisions and choices and goals that they have to make and achieve. Help them to turn to you for direction, affirmation and love.
In Jesus’ name, Amen
Weight Goes Bye 