Tuesday, October 16, 2007 (First installment)

12 days. How does a life change in 12 days? A stubborn person waits 40 years and in just 12 days has made a lifestyle change that should have happened years ago. My journey to better health began officially on Thursday, October 4, 2007 when I started a 1,500 calorie per day diet. Okay. I have done “diet’s” before and have never followed through. What makes this one any different?

Well, let me start by saying that without putting my weight battle into God’s hands I never would have made it this far. One day at a time is about all I can do in one stretch. Mostly I am working on the 1 meal at a time theme. So far, for something that I have made so difficult in the past there have only been two days when I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. The first day and last Friday. By 4:30pm on the first day I had only eaten about 430 calories. I was afraid to eat. I didn’t want to blow it the first day. Last Friday I worked my two jobs and just felt famished on Friday evening after work. Though I did eat fast food that day I made a healthy choice.

Throughout the last 12 days I have been tempted with a container of Buckeye Candy (If you don’t know what that is just think peanut butter, butter and powered sugar dipped into chocolate – MY FAVORITE DESSERT), baking for a bake sale at work, going to a Chinese buffet, baking brownies for my volunteer job and the actual bake sale as well. I survived every challenge, I believe with flying colors. Also, besides just the normal emotional changes that come with making a lifestyle change I have had to deal with a mom who is battling health issues and going to the homecoming game at the college I attended for a few years hoping once again that the guy I had been infatuated with for 20 years would show up and not having him be there AGAIN. The last time I based my hopes on this person being there was in 1993 when I thought he would be there, didn’t see him so I binged at a local restaurant and then when I got back to the stadium low and behold he was there. I felt miserable. We talked for a little while and once again he disappeared. I spoke with him the night before his 30th birthday almost 11 years ago and have not spoken with him again. I had been on the path in 1993 to lose weight but seeing him and getting a computer ended that very quickly. I, so far, have survived his absence once again, pretty well.

So, what makes this different? The only thing I can figure out is that God thinks I am ready to handle the changes that losing weight will bring. I have been obese my entire life and don’t know what a healthy weight will be like. I have never been on a date or had a boyfriend. I have never been kissed. He obviously knew that I was not ready for any of those things. Maybe now I am? Maybe I am also ready to step out in faith and let Him finally lead instead of me trying to do it all myself?

Tonight I go for my official “weigh-in” and am pretty excited. I went to my regular doctor last night and according to his scales I have lost about 5.8 pounds in the first 11 days of this journey. That is without doing any exercising. Now I need to step that up and get moving along with the food changes. I will keep you posted on how things are going. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

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